Today I was sitting at a coffee shop in downtown Burbank by myself at a table for two. It's lunch time and it's jam packed.. And by lunch time I mean for the 99% it was lunch time however I am the 1%. I'm having French toast and coffee when I notice a semi attractive older woman standing behind me waiting for someone to get up so she can sit and eat. I felt bad so I offered her a seat at my table. She accepts, sits down, and starts to eat. Now I guess because I've invited her into my world she now feels like she must start a conversation the way one would on an airplane or a greyhound bus. It was pleasant at first but became annoying increasingly fast as I realized this ex-desperate housewife hasn't had someone of the opposite sex to talk with in a long time. On and on she goes about moving to California, her rise to head of sales of her company, and the time she met Topher Grace at a charity dinner. She tells me how she grew up in Phoenix, how her ex husband lost his toe to an ingrown toe nail, and how she has a daughter that just got accepted into NYU. And that's when she dropped it on me... the thing semi attractive older women do when they know they look decent for their age and want to be recognized for it.
Semi Attractive Older Woman: Can you BELIEVE I have a daughter in college?
Me: Yeah, that's crazy..
Semi Attractive Older Woman: Not bad for a 42 year old huh?
Me: Wow! You're 42?! I never would have guessed that..
Semi Attractive Older Woman: Really? How old do I look?
Me: If I had to guess I totally would have said 56!
Semi Attractive Older Woman: Thanks for letting me use your table. (gets up and leaves)